From A Moth to A Butterfly

Author: heatheradamkirby

  • What it Takes to Survive After the Loss of A Child

    There is no fulfillment that life could ever provide to temper the agony of losing your child. As so many agree, children aren’t supposed to “go” before their parents. When the life of the one once literally physically attached to your body, is then cut from this world, your child is cut from your soul. Your soul will never again reside in peace. All you can do is survive. You are “here,” but only in body. Your heart is no longer yours. Your reflection is longer You, looking back in a mirror. You are “seen” by those around, but eventually, you are recognized less and less…

    @fuckcancer @losingachild @brokenheart @wheredoigofromhere @loss @childhoodcancer @lifeanddeath

  • … Come Back…

    The next time, any time, they say “hey mommy…?!” Just go. To them.
    Nothing you are or will be doing at that moment, will ever be as important as those few minutes you could have shared with your child.

    #fuckcancer #amotherslove

    Come back
  • Fear is the Strongest Weapon of Courage

  • Fear is the Strongest Weapon of Courage

    Fear is the Strongest Weapon of Courage

  • My First True Love

    My First True Love, My First True Loss

  • My First True Love, My First True Loss

    My handsome beloved. I get so lost in my head wondering, imagining, how all the more beautiful you would be now. My heart will always belong to you. You will always be my first true Love.
    ~ His hair had finally grown out enough here, where’d he’d remove his beanie and not be embarrassed. He was so self conscious, and I reminded him EVERY day how beautiful he was. The last several months of his visit* he didn’t want me to post or share any pictures. But he was beauty to behold ~

    Yet another season of Chemotherapy

  • Fear is the Strongest Weapon of Courage

    (When we choose fight over flight)

    So, I’ve decided to take sharing my life, my mind, and my pain to the next chapter. I understand not everyone desires or appreciates the abundance of my truths I disclose. I purge my heart’s emotions, because it’s cracks will grow and spread all the deeper if I don’t.
    I have finally started a “blog.” To know me is to understand this is a big step for me. As I might expose myself “here,” I am very private and aloof amidst the outside world. I don’t know who will read it, what will be said, or interpreted. I’m doing this for myself, but I am doing this for those like Me who often find themselves lost in this world. Those like me, who often feel like a stain.

    Let your fear be the first on the battle line. Let your scars of battles before be the shield you stand behind. Allow your anger to hold upright the blade of your sword, while allowing your heart to weigh steadily it’s handle.

    Not every swing will be worth another scar, if attempted without your steadying heart. It is ok to find refuge behind your scars. You earned them, wanted or not. So use them as your shelter. Your soul will house your mind safely. And when you can catch your next breath, let it not be in vain, but rather a willing sacrifice to reach your next step.

    You WILL get there.

  • From learning to live “with,” into learning to live “without.”

    This life is just a funhouse. It’s full of mirrors, clowns, walls, and trickery. We either stand in the doorway, get lost in the middle, or run for dear life until we find the exit.